Find Freedom Through the Holidays

If you’re anything like me, your diet has the potential to resemble the diet of Buddy the Elf during the holiday season. That is one of my favorite Christmas movies coming in second right behind Miracle on 34th Street. Spoiler Alert: When Santa is proven not guilty at the end, I am absolutely crying and I clap if I'm by myself. You have to see the movie to understand. 

Holiday food can bring so much joy for so many reasons. Food can trigger sweet memories that can only come through the preparation and indulgence of it. It's a beautiful thing! But sometimes food can serve as a doorway into guilt and regret.  I am convinced we can freely enjoy this season, including the delicious food it brings.

 

  1. Eat what you love!  Don't just eat it because it's there.   Don't waste your time on foods you don't particularly love.  If you're more selective in your choices, you can enjoy your favorites even more.
     
  2. Have a plan and set boundaries.  I'm not asking you to plan every bite of food during this holiday season, but think about upcoming social gatherings where an abundance of yummy food will be available to you.  If you have a party to go to that night, do yourself a favor, have nutrient rich meals and snacks throughout the day.
     
  3. Don't skip meals!  Fasting before a heavy meal may seem like a novel idea, but it can do more damage than good.  Low blood sugar from hunger increases cortisol levels. Cortisol is a hormone that helps your body sustain homeostasis (maintaining internal stability). One of it’s functions is to raise your blood sugar. Fasting will make eating more of a task than an enjoyable activity. However, I do believe there is a time and a place for fasting, but maybe not before a holiday meal.
     
  4. Don't feel obligated to eat everything you're offered.  Some people truly love others through the preparation of food.  If that someone offers you something and you are truly stuffed, tell them you'd love to take it home and save it for later.  Then, just throw it in the trash.   I'M KIDDING.  You can save it for later or (maybe) freeze it!  
     
  5. "Bring a delicious salad" said the dietitian.  Seriously though, if no one else is bringing a salad, you should.  I'm not saying you have to eat only the salad!  I can promise you, there will be people there that will be thankful.  Get a portion of those traditional, rich dishes you love and enjoy them with a side salad.  Your body will thank you later.   Also, it doesn't have to be a sea of leafy greens.  Add seasonal fruits and nuts or bring a fruit salad.
     
  6. Make decisions based on truth and not guilt.  Choosing not to eat something because you will feel guilty later is not freedom.  Freedom is being empowered to make wise, healthy decisions, not being deprived of unhealthy options.  The truth is that you are allowed to enjoy holiday food and please God at the same time. 
     
  7. Go to your gathering to gather.  (I believe this is the most important tip.)   The point of a gathering is to spend time with the people there and, most of the time, enjoy delicious food with one another. Don't allow yourself to be consumed with thoughts about food, like how much you can or cannot have.  Take those thoughts captive and focus on the people around you.  Strike up conversation with someone and stop focusing on yourself so much.  I know that's hard to hear, but this is a very self-focused issue and it will benefit you to stop thinking of your own issues and invest in someone else in that moment. 

Proverbs 14:6 can be interpreted many different ways.  It allows me to look at my gluten-free, vegetarian, paleo friends and say "bless you, my friend, and all of your food endeavors."  I don't believe there is one diet that works best for every person on this earth. 


Those who eat any kind of food do so to honor the Lord, since they give thanks to God before eating. And those who refuse to eat certain foods also want to please the Lord and give thanks to God.
Proverbs 14:6 (NLT)


We all have our own convictions about food.  Not one person's theory on food is the same as another.  The most important thing we can do in making decisions about food is to "want to please the Lord and give thanks to God."  Also, food choices are not always a matter of the heart, but purely a decision based on personal physiological needs.  Some people cannot tolerate certain foods, and they are not required to justify to anyone why they are avoiding those foods. I can guarantee someone is going to judge your food-related decisions, good or bad.   Some may admire your decisions, and some may be offended by them.   If people have a problem with your food choices, that's exactly what it is, their problem.  Remember, we all have our own convictions about food. Let them judge you, if they will. You've got your hands full not judging them for choosing to eat whatever you just declined.  

Who are you pleasing in your decisions about food? 

I am challenging us to take time to think and pray over our decisions during this season and then…STOP.  Don't allow yourself to think excessively about what you will or will not eat. This is a season for us to focus on the birth of a King that gives us the freedom to make life-giving choices, including choices about food. He cares about these details of our lives and he sees how we honor Him in the smallest of ways. You don’t necessarily have to honor Him by declining fudge, but we honor Him by listening. Ask Him to guide you in these decisions and then listen.

I hope you all have the most amazing Christmas!

 

A healthy lifestyle has been a deeply personal journey for me and it is the same for all of you.  The reflections on this blog are observations I have made through my own experiences. They are not intended as medical or dietary advice.  You should consult with your physician before making any radical dietary changes. Please contact me if you are interested in dietary advice that is customized to your needs.

Find Freedom During Engagement

You can tell A LOT about a person by their google search history. So I am going to give you a peak into Rachel Hanes during engagement... it probably looked a lot like this! 

Besides those occasional moments when I remembered that God created the whole earth and He could probably handle my wedding; I was worried about every detail especially how I would look on my wedding day. I wanted to look perfect and I wanted the day to be perfect. Believe it or not, I had a hard time admitting that reality to myself.

Deep down I knew things wouldn't be perfect and that striving for perfections was going to leave me unsatisfied and disappointed. I think I just desired for someone to tell me how to cope with my anxiety, but it wasn't an anxious feeling I was proud to tell people about. I didn't lose my job, or get diagnosed with an illness, or even worry about marrying the right man. I was anxious about one of the happiest days of my life... who really has sympathy for a bridezilla??

More specifically, I was anxious about not being perfect. I ONLY GET ONE SHOT AT THIS OKAY! I didn't allow myself any grace from the pressure I put on myself.

I believe one of the main reasons why my fixation on diet and exercise increased during engagement, other than wanting to look perfect, was because I enjoyed the control.  I craved more control because I felt like I was losing it in other areas of my life. Things were about to change pretty drastically. Even though I knew Beck was the one I wanted to marry, I was still overwhelmed with the fact that I was making the biggest decision of my life. This boy, this commitment, this change! But no pressure, right? 

I asked two women to share some of the challenges they faced during engagement.  I cried after I read their responses because they are sharing exactly what I needed during my own engagement and exactly what I wanted to share with you.  Brooke is my sister-in-law and she'll hug you so hard it seriously hurts. I think that describes her so well. She, like Beck, loves shamelessly and fierce!  She cares deeply for others and you know that instantly.  And Whitney.. the time I've gotten with Whitney I can see why her reputation precedes her. When you're with her you feel comfortable and valued.  She was the first to come to mind when I thought of this post and I know that was purposeful. 

Brooke, what brought you the most anxiety about your wedding and why?

When I think back to the months leading up to my wedding, I think about the joy that was coursing through my veins at all times just thinking about becoming Anthony’s wife. I was constantly distracted with daydreams of our lives together, of waking up next to him, or falling asleep in his arms. Yet, I also think about the stress I felt. I had waited my whole life to be married. I had not waited my whole life for a wedding, so the planning felt daunting to say the least. I wanted so badly to have a GREAT day, and honestly, I wanted it to be perfect. I was drowning in anxiety over the day being everything that I wanted it to be. I found myself very frustrated with everyone dismissing my stress by saying, “even if things go wrong, you will still be married at the end of the day!” To which I wanted to say, “You’re so right, do you want to pay for this day then? Even better, would you like to play God and give me back the only wedding day I’ll ever have if things go wrong?” Luckily I am a saved woman, and this response that I wanted to give back, did not leave my wayward mind. The fact of the matter is, I think it is totally fine to want things to go well and go smoothly; we will never have another first wedding day with that spouse. Our family and friends have taken time out of their busy lives, some have traveled hundreds and thousands of miles, and you want them to feel comfortable, and heck, have a little fun! However, if we become consumed with perfection, and use that as our guideline for how much we enjoy the day, or call it a success, I think we run the risk of absolutely robbing ourselves of the memories and joy that our wedding day lavishly gives us. Balance, once again is our best friend.

Whitney, how did you cope with anxiety about your wedding night?

My wedding night was a night that I had dreamed of and dreaded at the same time.  Didn't know those two could be in the same sentence about this topic?  Well, they could for me.  I was constantly swinging back and forth from joyous excitement to overwhelming fear.  Ask my friends....they will tell you that I LOVE to talk and learn about sex, but when it came to my wedding night, I didn't even know how I was going to walk out of the bathroom!!! Why?  Because I struggled with having the perfect body for several years, and the thought of being the most vulnerable with a part of myself that I didn't think was perfect was absolutely terrifying.  As much as I anticipated my wedding night for my entire life, the enemy constantly told me that my body wasn't "good enough" or "pleasing enough" for Zach.  To me, he had the perfect body, and I never could match up to that.  Over time I realized I was idolizing perfection.  Not only did I desire to have the perfect body, but I placed Zach on a pedestal of having the perfect body.  Perfection isn't reality.  It was a difficult process coming to terms with that, but Zach and I had many conversations about it as we prepared for our first night together.  Even after all of the preparing...God, in His divine ways, did something truly incredible.  On our wedding night and throughout our marriage so far, God has used my new husband to provide healing in that area.  Zach hasn't magically fixed me, but the Lord has shown me His infinite grace, love, and affirmation through marriage and the intimacy He blesses us with.  God began to heal the longing for perfection in my heart on our wedding night. Now, instead of feeling self-conscious and uncomfortable when Zach touches my tummy, I feel loved and secure.  God can heal hurt in the least expected times and ways. 

Brooke, what advice would you give a bride obsessing about looking perfect on her wedding day?

When it comes to stress, I am the opposite of a stress eater. I am a stress starver. When I am stressed, I am almost completely void of any appetite. Couple that with the extreme pressure that I put on myself to look perfect for my wedding day, and it was not a great combination! I kept thinking about all the angles that pictures would be taken from, that people would be staring, and that most of all, I wanted to be so fit and toned, that there were no problem areas that I was worried about on that day. This even dictated the dress I chose. I made sure I had one that gave me plenty of grace across my stomach! If I could give advice to a bride, I would first say, what you are feeling is totally normal. It’s okay. You don’t need to feel guilty that you want to look great and feel great on your big day! However, I can’t remember one moment during my wedding day, or wedding night, in which I was focused on my body. In a normal day, I constantly fight thoughts, and have a running list of critiques in my head about my body. Yet your wedding day is so full of joy, so full of loved ones, and of moments you will remember for the rest of your life, that you don’t think about how flat your stomach is, or crap! is my double chin appearing in this picture?! If you surrender yourself to the day, the worries that usually control our thoughts are nowhere to be found. So, as your are obsessing before your wedding, take heart that it’s all in vain. Instead, take that head-space and spend it praying for your future marriage, praying for your future husband, and praying for the wife that God has called you to be. I don’t think it’s wrong at all to give it your all in the gym, eat healthy, and work towards feeling good about your body for your day. But obsessive thoughts are a waste of your precious time, and a distraction from your engagement season. You will never get being engaged back! You don’t want to waste it worrying about something that you won’t even think twice about on your day. 

 

Whitney, what do you wish you would have known then then that you know now?

One thing I wish I would have known is that planning and "strategizing," if you will, every move for your wedding night makes you feel more stressed and worried!  I constantly would think...HOW am I going to walk out of the bathroom? WHAT am I going to say?  Should I take my hair down or leave it pinned up? Should I take my makeup off?  In my case, NOTHING went as planned.  I thought I would take my time taking a bath and getting ready...no.  In all honesty, I was eating cake with my hands in my wedding dress, hurrying to pack last minute things, had crazy hair, and guess what...no bathtub or mirror so I didn't even know what I looked like when I walked out of the bathroom.  But I wouldn't change one thing about that night.  In my opinion, it was our perfect wedding night!!

Brooke, what do you wish you would have known then that you know now?         

          There are so many stigmas about being a “bridezilla,” that I was honestly scared to have too many opinions about my day. I felt like if I had the “right” focus for that day, then I wouldn’t care about the color of the tablecloths, or what flowers were in my centerpieces. It was as if I equated caring about the small details as less Christian of me. I wanted to be the perfect “bride-to-be.” I wish that I would have known that it is OKAY to have opinions, especially ones that are different than family members. I wish I had more confidence in myself to know that I am not a bridezilla, and that wedding planning is an honor and something to have fun with, not dread with tears and a glass of wine every night! There were very few moments in which I let myself enjoy the planning process. Instead of memories and fun to be had with my fiancé and bridesmaids, I saw checklists that only reminded me of how behind I was or what I could not afford. I allowed the stress and anxiety to suffocate the joy and gratefulness that I could have felt. I wish I would have known to have fun, to make memories out of each step in planning, and let go of this ideal “bride-to-be” that I thought I needed to be. The Lord is in all seasons with us, and wedding planning is just another season in which we get to celebrate and partner with One who loves us dearly. 

Whitney, what advice would you give an anxious bride?

For any anxious bride, I want to encourage you to stay in prayer with the Lord and make your time with Him a priority.  There were many times when I was caught up in the small details that really didn't have much significance in the big picture.  But when I would spend time in the Word and in prayer, God refocused my attention to the greater picture...The eternal significance of making the martial covenant with Him and with Zach

Truth is freedom.

We don't deserve a perfect wedding.  We don't deserve a perfect anything.  Let the imperfections that will exist on that day be a reminder of the perfect God we serve.  We need a constant reminder of WHO perfect is, not what perfect is.   
God has so much more for us than idolizing perfection. He gives us freedom to experience the imperfect and relish in his perfect love.  

My general advice for you in making your diet and exercise choices during this season: Don't skip meals, feed your body real whole foods, and don't exercise if you need to rest. I'm not giving you another pinterest meal plan to follow.  
I'm asking you to surrender control so you can experience freedom.

Just one more thing.. 

As Beck was reading over this post I asked if he wanted to contribute anything. And then this happened.  This is from my precious husband, Beck:

"Rach asked that I step in and give a rugged, manly perspective on this so buckle up. I want to talk specifically about the engagement and how Rachel's experience and struggles affected us. First of all, we had a great wedding. Engagement was tough but it wasn't all bad. We absolutely had some great times and continued to grow. This is just some inside perspective.

Rach and I were certainly ecstatic about getting married, and like I said my love and affection for her was growing daily. But I will be honest and say engagement wasn't my favorite season. Just to be clear I’m going to put it at the very bottom. Cool? First of all... 9 month engagement? Get that out of my face. I don't wish that upon anyone with my personality type (or just any human). So I was probably a little emotionally disconnected in the first place (which is how I cope with things that I'm excited about that are a long ways off, just pretend they aren't happening). Now, I grew up with 2 older sisters so I’m familiar with unexplained and incomprehensible emotions from the women species that do not make sense to me. But I could not, for the life of me, figure out why Rachel didn’t think her body was awesome and was stressing about it. I also know she is her hardest critic (and I’m super biased and her biggest fan), but we were on totally different planets about this. To me, it honestly felt like a waste of time to be worrying about it (this is where the compassion came gushing out). I also have this ongoing struggle of wanting our moods, attitudes, and general feel to be happy and not sad. So when Rachel would be visibly upset or stressed I just wanted that to go away, and it not be the topic of our conversation.  I got to the point where I didn’t even want to talk about the wedding, which I realize most guys probably start there, but it was a little deeper for me. I just got tired of seeing her so distracted. I saw her stressed out, I saw her cry, I saw her joy being stolen, and it frustrated me (back to me wanting everything to be okay). I couldn't relate to her.

Ultimately, what I didn’t see was the immense pressure this day carried for her, and I thought I did! I'm not stupid, I know the wedding comes with stress. I just thought it was about everything going right, which in my mind was a non-issue. We would deal with that either way and as long as there wasn’t a Rachel-shaped hole in the church door before we said “I do” it was going to be a good day (and by the way, when you tell them this it doesn’t help for some reason). But it was about much more. It was about us only getting one shot at this, one wedding for our whole lives, and one wedding night. Which I can see in her mind she wanted to be perfect for, but she couldn’t see that in my mind she already was. I knew she wanted to feel confident in her body and "look good", who doesn't? But I was just so excited to see her body, and knew how obviously beautiful she was, that I didn't see or understand the struggle she had with that. So, instead of pursuing, praying for, and talking with her about it on a regular basis, I chalked up her behavior to “normal pre-wedding stuff” and spent the rest of my time trying not to break anymore bones before the wedding day. We probably spent a good bit of our energy stuck in a round about of her being stressed, and me being frustrated that she was stressed.  I needed to lead in preparing us for after the wedding, and also genuinely viewing the wedding day for what it was. Our public declaration of our commitment to God and each other in front of our friends and family, and then an amazing celebration to follow.

And that is exactly what it was, and it was awesome. We could have just probably saved ourselves some headaches beforehand!

It is a good lesson though: we aren't perfect people. We don't handle things perfectly. And we can't plan on a perfect day. But we can trust that God will bring us joy in the imperfections and that He will honor a devoted heart. I am thankful for Rachel and I’s engagement and how it reminded us of our need for a constant and perfect God, and that focusing on anything but him this side of heaven wouldn’t be perfect or satisfying."

Crispy Cancer

I had the privilege of meeting THE Chris from Chris Beat Cancer, a blog about healing cancer with nutrition and natural therapies by chemo-free survivor Chris Wark.  My mentor and friend, Kate Graham, won a Q & A session with Chris and kindly invited me as a guest. She raved about this blog to me for at least the past year and every time she told me about it I thought she said "Crispy Cancer". That's right. CRISPY CANCER like you fried cancer on a skillet like some bacon. So when she told me about the Q & A I put it right in my planner.. Crispy Cancer. Ya'll. Chris didn't fry cancer he actually BEAT it with nutrition and natural therapies. That's AMAZING and his story and website ChrisBeatCancer.com is worth your time.

Before going to the Q & A I looked over Chris' website again just to refresh. I was, again, extremely impressed with his site and inspired by his story. I thought I was going to walk away from the Q&A filled with new exciting nutrition information, which I did, but also feeling like I needed an ABC's extreme makeover on my diet. I thought I would walk away feeling guilty for how I eat and start writing my breakup letter with sugar, but that wasn't the case at all! 

I walked away empowered to make healthy changes. Focusing on the things wrong with our diet gets us no where. We will never achieve a perfectly balanced diet, especially not by comparing our diets to others. We make changes where we can.  We tell ourselves to "meet people where they are". How bout we take our own advice? Meet yourself where you are. If that means only adding a cup of tea to your diet after reading this post..then do it. Good for you! 

I'm not sure how I learned so much information in such a short amount of time, but I've decided I want to share my most favorite posts from Chris' site and give a short summary.  His site is a WEALTH of information. I am simply touching the tip of the iceberg by sharing this information from his site with you. I strongly encourage you to subscribe to his site.. and mine while you're at it.

Tea Up! My Favorite Healthy Teas

The fight we get from herbal teas comes from antioxidants and other immune boosting properties. 

  • Jason's Winter Tea. The story behind this tea is amazing!
    Ingredients: Red Clover Flowers, Gotu Kola Herb, Indian Sage Leaf & Special Spices (Herbaline Blend).
  • Red Tea (African Rooibos or “RedBush”)
    Ingredients: 100% Organic South African Rooibos
  • Tulsi Tea (Indian Holy Basil)
    Organic Rama Tulsi (Ocimum Sanctum) Organic Krishna Tulsi (Ocimum Sanctum) Organic Vana Tulsi (Ocimum Gratissimum).
  • Matcha Green Tea
    Culinary Grade Organic Green Tea ~ Japan

I tried the Red Tea. As much as I'd love to be an herbal tea drinker, I'm not. But I brewed this red tea and then refrigerated it and I really liked it! I'm sure you experience more of the flavor through the aroma when it's hot, but I enjoyed it more cold.  You can find the brand I purchased here.

Healthy Nuts and Seeds You Should Eat Every Day

Nuts are a great natural source of vitamins, minerals, protein, fiber and fat.  Find out which ones specifically by going to his blog post here. Add any of these nuts to my Salted Coconut Granola recipe!

Seeds are easy to sneak in your diet. Add to your granola, oatmeal, smoothies, baked goods, or salad!

The Top 10 Anti-Cancer Vegetables

Chris breaks it down into categories:

  • Allium vegetables: Garlic, Leeks, Yellow and Green Onions
  • Cruciferous vegetables: Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts, Cauliflower, Kale, Red Cabbage and Curly Cabbage
  • Spinach and Beet Root also scored in the top ten against many of the cancers tested.

The Top Four Cancer-Fighting Spices

Simple as that! Read more about these spices here

On this post Chris mentions this fun fact: "Anytime you put turmeric on a dish make sure to add a little black pepper, it increases your body’s absorption of turmeric by about 2000%." 

How to Supercharge Your Oatmeal

"Like it or not, the oldest historical human dietary record is actually The Bible, from which we know that whole grains have been a pillar of human nutrition for 6,000 years and are the reason most of our ancestors survived at all."

Chris expounds on how history tells us whole grains are not our enemy today, but an essential part of our diet.

I hope you check out Chris' website and feel as inspired as I am to make small changes. I can't take any credit for this research. It was all Chris. I simply took his information and put it on a pretty pictures! You are welcome.

You might be asking yourself if you truly care to prevent cancer. Let me answer that questions for you. You care! It's harder to care about cancer-prevention if cancer hasn't effected you personally. Unfortunately, most of us have had a cancer scare in our lives. Maybe not personally but with someone you love.  

The word "cancer" took on a whole new meaning for our family when my dad had a life-changing diagnosis in the fall of 2010. It was a dark and scary time, but it changed our whole family for the better.

After finding out about my dad's diagnosis my selfish thoughts went to my wedding day. Would he be there? There was no promise he would be. My dad's presence at my wedding meant so much to me for so many reasons, but after that scare, it meant more. Not everyone wins the fight with cancer, I realize that. My heart breaks for families who face this scary battle. I don't understand why my dad survived it and some others don't. But I'm choosing to be thankful. 

Working towards cancer prevention does not mean you're living in fear of a diagnosis, it means you're making smart decisions. Meet yourself where you are.  Don't beat yourself up for your imperfect diet.  Focus on the changes you can make and make them!

 

A healthy lifestyle has been a deeply personal journey for me and it is the same for all of you.  The reflections on this blog are observations I have made through my own experiences. They are not intended as medical or dietary advice.  You should consult with your physician before making any radical dietary changes. Please contact me if you are interested in dietary advice that is customized to your needs.

 

Freedom Found Mary Kate

Allow me to introduce you to Mary Kate Cortez! Let me just tell you some of the top reasons I interviewed this lady.

  1. She's a runner. If you didn't already know, runner's are a different breed. Her relationship with food and exercise is naturally going to look different than most and I wanted to know what that looked like!
  2. She can express herself extremely well, which make my job super easy.
  3. She loves the Lord and she's not afraid to tell you how much she needs Him.

Mary Kate ran track and cross country at Louisiana Tech University and is very open and honest about her struggle and success in finding freedom in the area of nutrition and exercise.  She was Athlete of the week sophomore year, conference championship team freshmen year for indoor track, and she got the Louisiana Sports Writer’s Association award for Steeple Chase. 

I had the privilege of living with her for a whole year and I got to know her sweet heart and sassy personality.  She’s been married a little over a year to Steven Cortez who also ran cross country and track. Isn’t that the sweetest? My husband loves to ask them about how they run together. It’s such a foreign concept for him I guess! 

Mary Kate is a 3rd grade math and science teacher.  Though she’s an awesome teacher, in my opinion, she’s a true counselor at heart. She's got this incredible gift of empathy.  When she's listening to you, you feel like the most important person in her world in that moment. I can’t tell you how many times she loved me just by listening.

She loves being outside, going on trips with her husband, and just being with people. She says "I’m extrovert learning how to live with an introvert!"

Okay, here we go!

What were you initial thoughts when I asked you to do this interview?  

 I thought “I would love to do that!” And “I hope Rachel doesn’t feel like she has to interview me just because I asked about how the blog was going.. but I am so excited to do this!”

Growing up, what did balance look like for your family? What were your family’s eating habits like? What was a splurge?

My mom stayed at home so we had a lot of home-cooked meals. We didn’t eat much fast food, but there weren’t rules around it. It was normal for us to have fresh, healthy food.

It was a big deal to get sugary cereal or Toaster Strudel! My dad didn’t love that mom would buy us that stuff, because he was a big saver and didn't like all the sugar in junk food. That stuff was usually more expensive, like lunchables. It was a big deal to get a lunchable, too!  Both parents were on board with the healthy lifestyle. My dad is enough of a saver to not want to spend money on junk food we didn’t need but he was also very health conscious. Mom was more okay with the splurges and still is. Overall, I never felt like food was legalistic. 

What are some of your favorite foods?

I like to make my favorite comfort foods from scratch, like mac and cheese. My husband and I like dishes like pasta and shepherds pie. When I make it from scratch it makes me feel better that it’s not processed.

 Dessert?

I’m obsessed with homemade chocolate chip cookies right now. I make a batch, freeze them, and bake them a little at a time so they’re fresh. Yum.

(I’ve had these cookies she speaks of. They are life.)

 If I could ask everyone how often they eat dessert, I would. For me, it's almost like knowing how much money someone makes. I can't explain it. So..how often do you?

I have it just about every day. I try to make it healthier during the week like dark chocolate or chocolate graham crackers. Just so it’s not like ice cream every night!  I recently made homemade granola bars and I have those for “dessert” sometimes. I tell myself it’s dessert. 

How has being married changed your eating habits, exercise routine and overall idea of what balance looks like?

Eating habits: I’m more in charge of the cooking and I really look forward to dinner a lot more than he does. If anything, I’ve changed his eating habits more than he has changed mine. He’s way more laid back about it which takes the pressure off of me to make this perfect meal. I'm married to a man who has the taste buds of a five year old. Which means anything goes!

I will say, he helps me splurge when we go out to eat or go to parties. He helps me not always choose the healthy choice when we go out.

As for exercise, I have a second opinion now. Again, he’s way more laid back. He could go without it. It takes more will power with him because he has a tendency to be more care-free about it compared to me. Him being a collegiate runner and all, I thought he would be better at getting in his runs but I was wrong! He has no problem saying no! He's pretty tired after teaching all day.

He’s able to speak into some of the anxiety that I feel.  If I tell him I feel anxious about choosing not to run that day he’s like “who cares?”. He allows me to believe “not running” is a viable option. I’m not breaking any crazy rules. For me, before, it was the only option. He offers options for me that make me feel at ease. I want a healthy balance, but I can be overly driven. I wish I could have more of his perspective, and I want to adopt some of his mindset towards exercise and body image. 

What are some of the major struggles you faced when running at a collegiate level?

At the time, I struggled with the fact that I wasn’t the best and I felt somewhat helpless in changing that. I didn’t start actually running track until I was a sophomore in high school so I felt behind in my weekly mileage compared to the girls I was running against. I felt inferior and I didn’t have the confidence I needed to run well. I wouldn’t rely enough on my training and I would get so intimidated by the girls I was running against.

I wish I would have been more fearless and bold in my races. After sophomore year I had a little more success and I started running faster. I started to increase my mileage and it felt awesome. But I started getting obsessed with what I was eating. I felt like I couldn’t eat sugar or anything I felt would slow me down.  I felt like there were a lot of limitations, and I began to hate running because of that.

So, I realized I had to find a balance and I allowed myself to have more things that I considered “bad” foods; the foods I thought would slow me down.  I realized, if I was unhappy I wasn’t going to run well anyway.   I needed to enjoy life outside of running to be a good runner and meet my goals. Where you are mentally effects everything in running. If you’re discouraged you’re going to suck it up! But if you feel encouraged in areas outside of running then you tend to do better. 

Now looking back, where do you see freedom now in the area of running and eating?

I don’t have to. I don’t have to run! In college, if I wasn’t running, I wasn’t working towards my goals. If I didn’t get a run in it felt like the end of the world. Now, I can hop on the bike or do P90x or… do nothing. I have more freedom to choose to do what I want when I want.

There's not that much of a difference. I probably eat more sweets and I don’t have to control what I’m eating on workout days. I have a sensitive stomach so I always had to be careful. 

What would you tell those that still have to train in order to be better? What are some ways they can find freedom in training?

I would say don't hold back. It can hurt to train hard. It's supposed to hurt if you are trying to run fast and for a long period of time. Don't compare yourself to other runners. God made each of you different for a reason.

You won't have a body like the girl next to you and that's NOT a bad thing. Love the fact that your body carries you for a long distance! That's amazing in itself. Don't be so hard on yourself and just enjoy racing.

It's okay to not get a run in. It's okay to not have a great workout. It's okay for it all to suck at times. It won't always be that way and that's part of the training. Do all you can and you really can't have regrets. Last thing I would say is your worth is not in your training and there is so much freedom in that!

What changes have you seen in your relationship with God through all of this?

I don’t have a coach to please, but I still have a tendency to want to train like I did in college. I feel more freedom in the Lord to say no. I am just learning how not to let performance in running define me. He created me as his child and that should be enough. No matter what my performance looks like, or how much I exercise, my worth is still the same.

That’s an ongoing process for sure. I’ll get back to you in 30 years. 

What are some areas that you want more freedom?

Body image, especially since I’ve been married. I’m more conscious of it. I guess that’s because I’m not running as much as I was 2 years ago and I wish I didn’t care. I want to be at a place where I believe “if I gain weight, awesome” and “if I don’t gain weight, awesome”.  I want to be able to look at my body and be pleased with how I look no matter what.

So, how are you planning to get to that place?

Praying and alter my thought process by using scripture. If I truly believe what the Lord says then I know I can be satisfied in the Lord. I’m allowing the negative thoughts in my mind and I realize I have control over that. 

Where do you see yourself with running in the future?

It’s something I want to continue to do even when we expand our family. As much as I can make it an idol it’s also an outlet for me. I get all my frustration out without hurting somebody! Also, I want to do some races. I can see myself doing some triathlons as well.

I know you’ve mentioned some resistance towards doing any races right now. Why is that?

In this stage of my life,  I’ve already trained as hard as I can. My goal now is to race without expectations; for the pure joy of it. That’s one way I would be able to tell I’ve let go of this idol of perfect performance and success. It’s more like learning to let go for me. 

My husband’s like, why would you pay for that? Haha! Honestly, I would do a race right now. I am currently dealing with some injuries but that’s a whole other story. I’m learning to be patient right now because my goals are blocked.

Any closing thoughts or advice you would give to runners ?

Don't be afraid to say no. You're worth is not in your running. It's okay to eat a whole thing of ice cream and then NOT go run it off. You are not a slave to what you eat and how much you exercise. It feels great to get those long runs in or those early morning runs, but it's okay if you don't make it happen. Enjoy the good runs and don't beat yourself up on the bad runs. God gave you legs to enjoy running but he did not give you legs to make an idol out of it. Be at peace with how God created you and be content with where you are in life. Some seasons you get to run a lot and other seasons you don't. Seasons don't last forever, they are temporary. If you aren't enjoying what you are doing with running then stop. Find exercise you can enjoy and look forward to.  YOU ARE ENOUGH.

Isn't she amazing? Look at that form. I'd be okay if no one ever took my picture while I was running.

Mary Kate gave me a glimpse inside of the heart of a runner. For that, I am so thankful. I know they aren't all the same, of course, but they share one love. Running! Lord, bless them! I hope this has helped you see what freedom looks like for you or for someone you care about.

Thank you for stopping by!